Lost

March 5, 2013

Mariah & Juliette’s 1^st Angelversary

I’m at such a loss for today. 

My heart is broken. It’s empty. It’s drowning in tears. It hurts beyond all understanding. 

I so miss my beautiful little girls. I miss what should have been. 

I’m so grateful I got to hold them in my arms. Look at their precious and perfect features. The love I have for my girls has forever changed me.

But all the things I didn’t get to do completely overwhelm me. I wanted them more than I could ever express. I will never understand losing my girls. Their loss has also forever changed me. 

My whole life I have wanted a family. I literally couldn't have been happier the day I learned I was having twin girls. I sometimes feel like I was just too happy that day. I was getting everything I ever wanted and maybe it was more than one person deserves.

I pray my girls in heaven can hear me. I hope they know how much I wanted them. How much I love them. How much I miss them every single second of every day. I just want to hold them and love on them so much. I would give anything to turn back time and have things turn out differently. 

As long as I live you live

As long as I live you will be remembered

As long as I live you will be LOVED!!