Can't Go Anywhere

I have been having a hard time lately. 

On Pinterest today I found this quote:

"That moment when you

can actually feel the pain

in your chest from seeing

or hearing something that

breaks your heart." 

On some days it doesn't take much. Today I was trying to run some errands, already having a heavy heart, and I saw twin baby girls in a double stroller. My heart broke in a million pieces right there.

I truly hate life right now.  The loss of my beautiful girls along with my struggles with infertility are too much to bear sometimes.

When people tell me that they aren't sure they'll have another baby because it's taking too long the second or third time around I always feel great sympathy. However, that feeling evaporates when "too long" means under six months. Really, that's a "long" time????? I know all things are relative and that it must feel like forever for people who are used to getting pregnant quickly, but it more than bugs me... these days it makes me angry. When people carelessly talk about how they'll never get pregnant again after they've already had one child quickly and it's taking more than a few months the second time - it is upsetting to me. I know it shouldn't upset me so much... but my heart strings are pretty taut right now and my emotions right along with them. I hope my plastic smile doesn't give away how I'm truly feeling.