It is so hard to keep putting one foot in front of the other. I keep trying the whole "fake it until you make it" mantra... and sometimes I even fool myself for a couple days. Life feels normal. I am my old "happy" self and nothing is wrong. Except it isn't true. Everything is wrong. And I am so tired pretending like everything is fine when it isn't. I lost my girls. I am so desperately unhappy. And I know my pain isn't greater than anyone else's but on a night like tonight I just don't know what to do with it. It is so overwhelming. I can't believe this is my life right now. My worst nightmare actually happened. I was so close to my dream and it turned out so completely wrong. I am broken.
My heart is a million shattered pieces of pain.
I want my girls.
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